Day 1 has two parts: find your connection spot and then schedule your daily two minutes. This move might feel small, but that's exactly how it starts.
First, pick your spot. Choose a place where your teen already feels relaxed. Not where YOU want to talk. Where THEY naturally land.
In the spot you picked, ask one either/or question. Then wait.
Try these:
That's it. Just one. Then stop talking.
If they answer, great. If they look confused, that's fine too. If nothing happens after 30 seconds, try one more question. Then stay for the full two minutes.
You're not starting a deep conversation. You're showing up.
❌ Asking "How was school?" (more on that in Day 2)
❌ Leaving if they don't respond
You might get a one-word answer or a shrug. You might get nothing. Stay anyway. The Move isn't getting them to talk. The Move is showing up without needing them to perform.
Your attention is like WiFi to a teenager. They notice immediately when it's not working. Two minutes of full signal, phone down, no agenda, does more than an hour of half-present hovering while you mentally draft your to-do list.
And your teen is used to questions with hooks. "How was the test?" means "Tell me something I can fix or worry about." Either/or questions have no hooks. They're random. Safe. Nothing riding on the answer. That's the whole point. You're practicing being present without needing anything from them.
Two minutes. They'll notice you stayed even when it was awkward. That matters more than you think.
Relate2 | Parenting Teens