YOUR ADHD GAME PLAN

Strategy 1

Change the Context

YOU ARE HERE

Strategy 2

Let Them Design It

Strategy 3

Make the Deadline Real

Strategy 4

Make It Harder

Strategy 5

You're Not in Trouble

Strategy 6

Drop the Command

STRATEGY

OF 6

Friction Cutters

“They said they’d do it later. It’s Sunday at 10pm, and later never came.”

To you, “do your homework” is one instruction. To your teen, “write the essay” is really four decisions: pick a topic, find the notes, decide how long it should be, choose where to start. Nobody wrote those decisions down, so the assignment has no visible way in. “Later” sounds like defiance. Most of the time it’s what a person says when they can’t see the first step.

A Friction Cutter removes one barrier between your teen and the first action. Not the whole assignment. Not a new system. Just the thing standing between them and starting.

Pick Your Moment

Name one first step: they keep saying “later.”

Clear to step one: they sat down and nothing happened.

Start the clock: the step is named and they’re still stuck.

This Week's Moves

Situation 1

They Keep Saying “Later”

Name one first step. Pick one stuck assignment and ask what’s making it hard to start. Then name a first step so small there’s nothing left to decide, and make that the only ask. “I don’t know what to write about” gets “list three topics.” “I can’t find my notes” gets “find the notes.” Then stop. No “and then.”

“What’s one tiny thing you could do right now to start? Just one.”

Studying for a test has no built-in first step: no doc to open, no button to press. Name it for them: “Pick the chapter. Open your notes. That’s the first step.”

“I’ve been the one tracking your assignments, and I’m going to stop, because it isn’t building the thing you need. I’m not disappearing. I’m changing jobs.”

Situation 2

They Sat Down and Nothing Happened

Clear to step one. Ten tabs open, notes in three places, phone lighting up: the space is working against them before they type a word. Remove everything the first step doesn’t need, set it up, and walk away. If it’s not needed for step one, it doesn’t belong in the workspace right now.

For screen work: close every tab except the one they need, open the assignment in a fresh window, and turn notifications off.

For paper work: clear the desk down to the worksheet and a pencil, and move the phone to another room if you can.

Situation 3

The Step Is Named and They’re Still Stuck

Start the clock. Shrink the time instead of the task. Set a stopwatch counting up, and you both work until it hits five minutes. A stopwatch makes time visible without making it feel like it’s running out. When it hits five, you stop. Honoring the stop is what makes starting feel safe tomorrow.

“Here’s how this works. We both work until the stopwatch hits five minutes. You do your assignment, I do my thing. At five, we stop, and you decide whether to keep going.”

If they keep going past five, let that be theirs. The deal was five minutes; anything extra is a bonus, not the new minimum.

Why This Works

A vague assignment stalls because starting it takes decisions your teen can’t see, and deciding is the part their brain quits on. When you name one visible first step, there’s nothing left to figure out, so the start gets cheap enough to happen. And once they start, most teens can keep working. Starting was always the expensive part.

Every time you cut friction instead of repeating the reminder, you’re teaching the question they’ll eventually ask themselves: what’s the first step? And the first time they open the doc without being chased, you learn something too. They could do the work all along. They just couldn’t see where to start.

For Your Archetype

For Their Teen OS

Quick Summary

Stop

Reminding, re-reminding, and reminding one more time.

Change

One assignment, one visible first step, one small ask.

Impact

You watch them start without being chased, and starting was the skill you were afraid they didn’t have.

What to Watch For

You'll Catch It When

You name the first step, then keep going: “and then the outline, and then the sources.” Naming one step and stopping is the move. If you map out the rest, the assignment gets big again while you’re still talking.

Early Signs

They name a first step themselves. They open the doc without ceremony. “Later” starts arriving with a time attached.

If Nothing Shifts Yet

A start that happened at all is the win, even a five-minute one that fizzled. If a night goes sideways, go back to one assignment and one step tomorrow. You’re planting a question, and questions take repetition to take root.

Saige

Tell Saige about one assignment that’s stuck right now. It will help you find the first step and size the ask.