YOUR ADHD GAME PLAN

Strategy 1

Change the Context

YOU ARE HERE

Strategy 2

Let Them Design It

Strategy 3

Make the Deadline Real

Strategy 4

Make It Harder

Strategy 5

You're Not in Trouble

Strategy 6

Drop the Command

STRATEGY

OF 6

Choice-Within-Limits

“Something went wrong at school. They mentioned it once. That was four days ago.”

You’re circling two options: step in and handle it, or stand back and watch it get worse. There’s a third: the conversation happens, and your teen is the one who has it. To a teenager, a teacher isn’t just an adult, they’re the adult who holds the grade. Asking that person for help feels enormous. So you hold the one non-negotiable, something gets communicated, and you hand over everything else: email or in person, today or tomorrow, their words.

The boundary is the outcome. Everything inside it belongs to them.

Pick Your Moment

Hold the limit, hand over the how: days are passing, and nothing’s been sent.

Ask three questions: they chose email, and don’t know what to say.

Run it once out loud: they chose to say it in person.

This Week's Moves

Situation 1

Days Are Passing, and Nothing’s Been Sent

Hold the limit, hand over the how. Name what has to be communicated, offer two ways to do it, and let them pick. Whether to communicate isn’t on the menu. How is entirely theirs.

“You need to let Mr. Chen know you missed the assignment because you were sick. That conversation has to happen. You can email him or catch him after class. Which feels easier?”

“No. This is your grade, your class, your conversation. I’ll help you figure out what to say, but you’re the one who says it.”

Situation 2

They Chose Email, and Don’t Know What to Say

Ask three questions. Most teens know they need to communicate; they don’t know how to compress it. Your job is questions, not sentences. They type. You never touch the keyboard, because the teacher needs to hear your teen’s awkward real voice, not your polished one.

“What do you need the teacher to know? What are you asking for? When do you need an answer by?”

“Three sentences. Say what happened, make the ask, sign off. Send.”

An awkward message that arrives does more than a perfect one still in drafts. Sent is the win.

Situation 3

They Chose to Say It in Person

Run it once out loud. The first time they say a hard thing shouldn’t be in front of the teacher. Rehearse it once in the kitchen. You play the teacher, and you play it neutral: not the disaster they’re imagining, and not a fairy tale either. Once through is enough; over-rehearsing feeds the fear.

“Let’s practice once. I’ll be Mr. Chen. Say what you’re planning to say.”

Answer the way a busy, reasonable teacher would: “Sure. When can you have it in?” Then let them find their reply.

“You know what you’re going to say. That’s enough. Let me know how it goes.”

Why This Works

Teens follow through on plans they had a real hand in shaping, and push against plans that arrive finished. When the how belongs to them, there’s nothing to push against, just a hard thing to do with backup nearby. And teachers deal with hundreds of students a year; the ones who ask are the ones they remember wanting to help.

Emailing the teacher yourself would be faster. It would also teach them that when school gets hard, you take over. Pick the lesson you want to teach. Then one afternoon they come home and say “I talked to him, I can retake it,” and you realize your kid just asked an adult with power over them for something hard, and lived. That skill transfers to every classroom, job, and relationship they’ll ever have.

For Your Archetype

For Their Teen OS

Quick Summary

Stop

Emailing the teacher for them, or editing their words into yours.

Change

Hold the must, hand over the how, help them shape it, and let them send it.

Impact

You watch your teen ask an adult for something hard, in their own words, and handle the answer.

What to Watch For

You'll Catch It When

Polishing. You fix the grammar, upgrade the tone, and their message quietly becomes your message. The teacher can tell, and worse, so can your teen.

Early Signs

They mention a school problem sooner. A draft appears without prompting. A message gets sent, even an awkward one. Awkward and sent is the target.

If Nothing Shifts Yet

Drafted-but-not-sent is closer than Monday, so count it. Find the one barrier in the way, remove that, and let them try again. A stalled send is fear, not indifference.

Saige

Bring the situation to Saige and it will help you build the three questions for tonight’s draft.